Open Arms, Open Heart

                     Something I’ve always found intriguing is different lifestyles in our world.  I find it important to think about how the choices of others, especially before I pass any judgment.  One of the newest things I’ve started to think about is polygamy and the different sides to it.  I started out only hearing the cult version of this practiced lifestyle, and like so many others I automatically found it perverse and disgusting.  After reading about different aspects and watching sister wives, I have grown to understand it more.  While I will never truly understand it and have no intention of ever practicing this religion, I also find the immense amount of judgment on this life alarming.

                In the world today sex, marriage, and love are all something that has lost its value to much of our society.  In many instances sex is practiced before marriage and having children out of wedlock is nothing new. A woman may also have children with different men as well.  Love isn’t just shared between a man and a woman, and same sex relationships are the norm.  I have grown to accept all of these things, and realize everyone has their own path.  The main question now is why is polygamy against the law in the land of opportunities, freedom of religion, and the background of new beginnings.

                In polygamy among families (not cults, or compounds), it is the belief that the larger the family, the more opportunity the family has to serve God in the afterlife.  It is the choice of the individual, and a practice of a faith.  If a person is allowed to have children with multiple men without the promise of marriage, why should people who choose to have children with a man with multiples wives be condemned.  In cases of polygamy as well, it takes away the single mother, disputes of child support, and allows children to grow up with both parents.  What is wrong with allowing others to practice a belief, if all parties are engaged?         

                Polygamy to me is something I could never imagine living.  I feel as if I would not want to share my husband, isolate my children, and constantly live in fear for my family.  If the families, whom practice this fundamentalist society, were not castigated for this behavior, two of my three concerns would no longer exist.  America was established to free itself from the anarchy of the British rule, and to live a life without fear of choices leading to punishment.  Let the world live as promised, separation of God and state.  

To All Those Unemployed

     I just want to start out saying, for those of you who have been unemployed for any long stretch of time, i feel very sorry for you.  I am currently in fourth month and everything about me has begun to alter.  Everyone around me is saying, get a job, get a job.  I wish it were that simple.
     My entire adult hood i have held AT LEAST on job, sometimes ranging up to three.  I prided myself on making my own money, paying my own bills, and not leaning on my parents like my other siblings.  Throughout cosmetology school, I attended school full time and lived off loans.  There were times toward the end; i did have to lean on my parents, then shortly after there were even more times.  I am also currently under different circumstances.  Not only did i quit my job, i picked up and moved with my husband.  
     Over the past four months, my whole personality has changed. I have slowly faded from an outgoing, happy go lucky, confident person into a standoffish, lonely, and lowly person.  With every declined application, every rejected interview, and every day spent alone, i am more capable of being completely alone.  Life alone has become easier, but its not something i wanted.  Instead i want my old life back.  The life that was satisfying.  The life that didn't involve spending 12 hours alone on a couch waiting for my husband.  A life in which i didn't even have cable, let alone a line up of shows to fill a regular persons work day.  I also miss the non feeling.  Each day i did not wake up dreading my life.  I did not wake up and count down the 4 days of loneliness only to be saved by my husbands 3 day weekend.  People reading this will say, go out and do something, get a job, and quit complaining.  Unless you too have been subjected to this life, don't even begin to judge.  
     Everyday i worry about my health, my well being, my mental state, and employment.  Everyday i am depressed by my current situation, and the ability to motivate myself is not there.  Most of all, i am afraid that this is going to continue.
     In conclusion, if you live in my world of grunge, anger, loneliness, and endless rejection i feel for you.  I hope you will hold your head up high, i also hope i can do the same thing.